The last four weeks have been quite silent on the blog. I understand the topics have been sensitive. This, I say because I got such replies and comments in my inbox. So, on a lighter mood I bring this to you…with love, from Texas! Bro A had been friends with me for some years on Facebook (the reason for the prefix ‘Bro’ will soon be understood later). I never for once thought of setting eyes on him since he wasn’t based in Naija. Suddenly, he called to say he would be visiting. I wasn’t against the idea, neither was I really excited about the piece of information. I went about my normal day-to-day activities. The D-day came like any normal day. Little did I know I was in for a very rebarbative experience! In fact, I had been at the ‘yellow room’ overnight. Coming back home, I met the house re-arranged. I almost felt I lost my way to my own address with what met my eyes. My BFF was over the moon because an ‘Americana’ was coming to visit us (not like I wasn’t curious too). Anyone who knows me well enough, knows I’m too laid back about almost everything except money-making things (blame me not).
Thank goodness, I had not wasted my hard-earned ‘change’ to prepare in terms of edibles. Not because I didn’t want to, but I felt he might not want to eat in a semi-stranger’s house. I had our normal pure water satchets chilling and sweating at the same time in the refridgerator instead of EVA bottle water. Hmmmm! Suddenly, my faraway guest called to say he was on a bike. Bike ke??? Hopefully, it’s a Power-Bike sha. I thought he said that to check my reaction so I flowed very well. I told him I would be by the gate waiting for him. Lo and behold! He rode into my street on an okada (we all know bike is different from okada na), looking as if he was just returning from a tedious spiritual retreat that mandated him to look very unkempt. The okada man parked for my ‘Texas’ guest. Bro A jumped down and started haggling price with the man! This gave me an ample time to assess his appearance. You would do the same, won’t you? (so don’t start giving me some attitude o). He looked haggard with bumps on his jaw to the neckline, his shirt and pant material was on another level (as I never travel outside the country, I no know if na like that dem dey dress for Texas sha). I couldn’t believe what I was seeing o. I checked out to see if there was another bike bringing the goodies from Texas but none was in sight. Na there I know say I no need buy any EVA water sef. Haba, how can you come all the way across continents with nothing but a tax collector bag? How?? Wasn’t that the most selfish thing that could ever happen???
As the good girl that I am, I still asked if he wouldn’t mind Eva water, to my astonishment he said pure water would be fine. Ha! I walked him into my flat and had him seated in no time. When I ushered him in, I could read terrible disappointment on my BFF’s face. But like the good girl she also was also, she waited to exchange pleasantries with him before disappearing into the room. I put in front of him, a satchet of chilled water placed in a nice dainty side plate together with a beautiful slim glass cup.
Bro A drained the water as if he had just finished a HIIT (High-Intensity Interval Training), he never even bothered about the glass cup. Then the talk began about the bad state of Naija, how he forgot his balance with a bus conductor (common 30Naira ooo), etc. I kept on glancing at his tax-collector bag thinking of how cute the goodies he brought for me must be since they are not bulky, you know? It could be a wristwatch, jewelry set, cologne, anything cute. A girl is allowed to wish for and have pretty cute things, innit? Because that would be his saving grace from my scorn o!
After a long while, I had to call my friend out of the room to watch a show on the T.V by force, because it was just unfair that I bear all the hardship listening to him alone when I had a dear friend that could bear with me. She obliged me and few minutes later after he regaled us about experiencing grace and favour of the Lord as he found with an elderly woman in the abroad, etc. Thankfully, he announced he was leaving. I was elated because that was supposed to be the ‘gifting time’. Alas! Bro A fell short, he fell under short of my expectations! He stood up and was already leaving…by then I had totalled my mind that there was nothing to show for his visit. All of a sudden, his hand went into his tax-collector bag and came out with none other than our good old Gala. I went from disappointed to flabbergasted. I collected, smiling and still hoping the real deal was coming. I think he must have struggled with parting away with his hard-earned bought galas, because he brought out two more! That’s when I knew he was nuts. As if to rub pepper on the wound, na so him comot another gala then another one making a total of five Galas! Then it dawned on me, that there are things yet to be seen under the heavens! Please never believe the saying: ‘there is nothing new under heaven’ because this is a clear evidence that there are plenty things that are new! All the while, my BFF was in a state of shock, she made no move neither did she speak a word. I muttered my thanks and ‘fake’ pleasure at putting a real face to the name on FB. Together, we saw him off and that was the end of bad rubbish. I hope that as I have written about it, I would have no cause to remember this incidence again. Amen!
My BFF, who experienced this memorable event with me, is a SOUND Writer and Author. She narrated the story from her own point of view HERE. But as the saying goes, nobody can tell the story like its owner!
By the way, what do you think about the new Header Image used? Kindly give your opinions in the comment box, or any of my handles…will be glad to improve on my new-found gift of creativity (I designed it).
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