Recently, I came across a comment an acquaintance made on a Facebook platform and it left me with a bitter taste. The question was:What can be done to reduce the increase in occurrence of single mums in our society? A lot of members were quick to say abstinence, with which I agreed to an extent but what about those that abstained and got raped or abstained, got married and later found themselves in that ditch as a result of unfaithfulness or Domestic Abuse? Who is to blame? It’s appalling how we rush to talk when we have not been in the painful shoes of those that wear them.
I was scanning through the comments as usual until I came across my friend’s comment and I quote “The rate of it in Ibadan and Abeokuta is alarming. No single lady in Ibadan that’s over 25 years that doesn’t have a kid”. I was so angry at his comment because this same ‘friend’ requested my friendship on Facebook and immediately went into my inbox trying to get closer…asked for my WhatsApp digits but I refused to give him even though it’s now all out on my business page (Treasure Organics).
The thing is this, if I had encouraged him at whatever he was looking for and I became pregnant, wouldn’t I have been a single mum by him now not forgetting the fact that he is married? Why are women always made to bear the scourge meant for both parties? It takes two to tango or tangle as the case may be and there is no flame without fire (except The Burning Bush in The Holy Bible). I couldn’t let his comment go without an appropriate response: “Wow! That’s alarming!! But please expatiate, do you mean you did the statistics and found that out? Because I am in Ibadan and don’t have my own ‘kid’ yet. Probably the ‘agent of distribution’ left me and a large number of single ladies over 25 years of age out! LOL!! That statement is alarming, Sir!!! On topics like this, it’s better you say ‘MOST’ not ‘ALL’ Ibadan and Abeokuta ladies over that age you know so well have kids”. Not only do I live in Ibadan, I am a true daughter of Ibadan and I stand to say no one has the right to imply that ‘we’ or any other tribe are promiscuous! it’s got a whole lot to do with personal values than state of origin or residence!!
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