I WISH I HAD MET YOU BEFORE…

What’s with this latest trend of some married guys talking trash these days? I wonder how many times they ‘wished’ they had not married their wives. Each time they see a new conquest, after a few talks they just chip in that lil’ sentence. This does not leave out the so-called ‘brothers’. Not surprised because we have a lot of goats in sheep’s clothing. Almost all single females have this experience. I wish a movement could start for single ladies to expose such men by screen-grabbing their convos. I’ll quickly share one of mine and I hope he gets to read this as he is still on my friends list and change his ways before it gets late.

FJ was a colleague at the yellow room. There was no way I could have noticed him because he was employed way before I was. Asides, he could be seen as an easy-going guy. On this fateful day, I was at a different floor from my work station catching up with a close chum Tola when someone beckoned at me from the far end of the wing. At the yellow room, u don’t know who is who because we were quite much in number. I quickly walked up to him, thinking he was a superior that was about to chide me for walking aimlessly while others were working. On getting closer to him, I noticed a smirk on his face. He gestured for me to wait while he rounds off with the current customer. I did and this conversation ensued:

FJ: Hello!

Prisca: Hi!

FJ: Do you know me?

Prisca: No, I don’t.

FJ: Really? And I know you very well. Anyways, my name is FJ.

Prisca: Okay, mine is Prisca.

FJ: Nice name…has anyone ever told you that you look like a Carribean?

Prisca: Thanks… No, that’s a first, why is that?

FJ: Then I’m glad to be the first to notice that…it’s because of your skin…

Prisca: My skin?

FJ: Yes, you’ve got some beauty spots on your skin, creamy and of course, your physique. I hope I have not offended you.

Prisca: Oh, really? Thanks though. No offence taken. Nice to meet you, FJ. See you around.

FJ: Alright then. See you later.

That was how we met. It took a lot of restraint to stop me from laughing right there at the spot. Immediately, I went back to my close chum to get info about him. Fortunately, Tola knew him very well. Oh, did I tell you he wears no ring but he is married? Also, a consistent chorister in a well-known denomination identified with very strict doctrines. So I was harmed with the info while I waited for his next move. Thereafter, we would bump into each other on the stairs or at the canteen. At the canteen, we would just chat about mutual interests…nothing unfavourable. On the stairs, we kept to exchanging pleasantries. Note that the fact I knew FJ was married didn’t stop me from being friends with him (he acted as though he had very clean intentions) but that’s the boundary to avoid stories that touch.

Personally, I don’t like losing touch with friends. So I noticed him on FB and sent a friend request to which he accepted immediately. It was good to chat with an old friend or so, I thought. As at then, we were now at different locations so it had been quite a while we spoke. He got a much better job and as God would have it, FJ won a full scholarship abroad. He was to travel with his wife and daughter very soon. I was ecstatic about the great news. We exchanged numbers. The communication was just great as any friend’s should be until one day; he started getting too close for comfort. FJ started out by asking if I could date him if he were not married. I said no. he replied that he knew he could because he knows he is likeable and cute and he had always had his way with any female of his choice back in the days. I told him he was free to reach that conclusion but my answer remains no. I must have got him angry with the ‘no’ because he suddenly lunged into his escapades from school days. How he showed a 2-year senior lady with a ten-year gap (older than him) his endowment and prowess in bed, how he massacred girls at the yellow room during night shifts with emphasis on ‘chubby girls’.

In his experience, he found out that chubby girls were always low on confidence and high on sexual libido so they were easy to prey on. Then he asked for my own experience on those two topics, I gave him none because I found the way he veered away from the main discuss a bit disappointing. In a bid to make me talk, FJ went further to say he did all those things because he wanted to put all his experiences in a book! He even bragged that if he had known me a lot before then, he would have ‘conquered’ me and at that point said he wished he had met me before his wife. That’s where I knew I had to caution myself. There was a time he suggested we hang-out, lodge overnight lying side by side! I was flabberwhelmed. I politely told him I wasn’t into such behaviour. I even apologised explaining that anything I might have said or done to encourage such thoughts wasn’t intentional.

FJ went ballistic on me, saying what was the big deal in lying side by side discussing as friends before he travels out of the country as he didn’t know when next he would see me. Please, how is that supposed to affect the price of fish in the market??? He continued by saying I shouldn’t put words into his mouth and that he didn’t insinuate anything, bla bla bla. Defence mechanism, right? That was the end of our friendship. In case you are one of those that chubby girls are low on self-esteem, you are a lost cause!

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NOTE: Real names withheld.

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