Lagos Accommodation Saga 2 (O Tenant, O Landlady)

In a bid to make life more comfy for myself, I hurriedly moved to another place at Ago Palace. I thought I had gotten to my place of rest. Alas! The devil reared his ugly head again. But this time in the form of my landlady (Madam N)! Are your thoughts identical with mine? Don’t I have luck with accommodation in Lagos? Asides from the fact that the place was infinitesimal because ‘small’ doesn’t describe the place well enough, there was no water and I was deceived into thinking it would be repaired in no time. I even contributed o.

After persevering for a week and some days, there was another plumbing issue…a major one. Instead of showing some empathy and finding a way out, Madam N turned deaf ears. At a time, heaped the blame on me, with that, she broke the Carmel’s back. She asked me to vacate her house and come for my refund. Sharply, I arranged to pack out and I did within a space of few days, making the duration of my stay at her house a total of two weeks and three days! Trust me, I went back for my money. Then pendulum activities began, asking me to come back several times because obviously, Madam N thought I couldn’t call her bluff. Amidst those times, she stylishly asked me to move back in but I could not. How could I continue to buy water in kegs while deceiving myself that I was living in a posh area? Anyways, I lost a lot of money in the process because she refunded only a part of the money for which I’m grateful to God.

After squatting for a short while, God gave me a befitting accommodation in a modest estate and rent. Befitting in the sense that, it was a new building with all conveniences intact. It was as if I was compensated for my troubles. On a fateful day, I was ‘chopping the head of my life’ (enjoying my life) in my palatial abode when I got a call from a former neighbour. He asked me to speak to someone on his behalf to confirm Madam N’s terrible nature. Before I could refuse the favour, I was put through to the person. The deep baritone alone was enough to make me end the call. He was an OPC member whom Madam N had been reported to. He confirmed my name before asking me to confirm Madam N’s bad behaviour. I had to decline giving away the much needed info with a lot of respect but deep inside me, I knew Madam N was due for some home training and I cringed to have her get it in full dose.

That same day, another former neighbour called to ask if I had been contacted. I answered affirmatively and relayed everything to her. She made it known to me that since another tenant came in after I moved out, the compound had become a boxing ring. Madam N practiced with the new tenant, the same insolence as she did with me and ‘Mike Tyson’ rained down curses and threats to beat her up if she dared to come out of her apartment at that moment. As expected, she didn’t. Tyson then proceeded to her car, smashed the windshield and punctured the four tyres. In turn, she hired some thugs to immobilise him… I’m sure you’ll agree with me that she was due for some quick reminder on etiquette.

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